Ammo called me in to watch Rosie and her guest,Elmo, just now. It was adorable!!!! We're sitting there laughing and he says:
"So Mom, who do you want to date and who do you want to have sex with?"
(Gasp-gasp)"Ammo, Honey, I'm your mother! I don't think about things like that!!"
Rolled eyes. "Mom, get real. I know you like Nicholas Cage"
"Well, yes, he's an excellent actor---whimsical, different."
"Yeah, I don't think Tyra Banks is going to bed with a fifteen year old high school sophomore, either, Mom. This is fantasy."
"Elmo--I want Elmo," I said, grasping desperately for a way out. I was under the impression children thought their parents became anatomically incapable of sex after giving birth to them. "I've loved Elmo for years since I saw him on Sesame Street."
"Mom--start with the date part. that's easier."
"Danny DeVito, Billy Crystal, Ed McBain, Elizabeth Berg," That was easier.
"Elizabeth Berg?? How can you have a date with a woman?"
""we're just going to dinner! She's a wonderful writer!"
Rolled eyes. I obviously am failing this assignment. But I suddenly have this realization that I said something important.
"That was important. BAck up." I say. "Maybe it's good to realize that the people we want to spend some time with are people with certain thoughts and feelings we share, not just people we want to go to bed with..."
He nods. "Yeah-Stephen King."
"Ummmm-Right. Now think about how wonderful to find someone whose thoughts fascinate you and whose values are similar and whom you're also attracted to!"
Puzzled look. I guess when you're 15 it just hasn't come together yet.
"John Cusack, Nicholas Cage, Michael Keaton." I admit, defeated. |
