You've seen the sign that says "you don't have to be crazy to work here, but it helps" ? I suspect Christianity and marriage is like that: being Christians doesn't guarantee your marriage won't fail, nor does being non-Christian mean it will fail. But it helps. It's like an extra tool, or one more safety net in case the others fail.
I suspect one of the main reasons marriages fail is unrealistic expectations. Women, especially, seem to go into marriages with the idea they will be fulfilled by it, that the husband will make them happy the rest of their lives. Of course that doesn't happen, you'll never find complete fulfillment in another human being, so the wife is disappointed and disillusioned, and starts to look for another human who will make her happy. The Christian woman, on the other hand, is more likely to be looking to God for fulfillment and satisfaction.
A second reason is the church. In these days of career moves around the country, many people are separated from extended family. Family can be helpful in smoothing marital problems. For instance, they provide advice to troubled couples, a "safety valve" when disputes lead a partner to need somewhere to "cool off", and mediation when communication problems arise.
There is also the question of value. You will work a lot harder to save something if you place a lot of value on it. To a secular couple, the marriage is merely a personal relationship which is only worth the enjoyment the parties get from it. To a Christian, the marriage is blessed by God, a gift which should not be spurned unless absolutely necessary. Therefore, they will work harder to keep it together.
This is what I've come up with so far, after 11 years of family law practice. When I have the rest of it figured out, I'll write a book (ggg)
In Christ, Ken. |
