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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: w2j2 who wrote (6426)8/10/1998 11:12:00 AM
From: Chip Anderson  Read Replies (1) of 62549
 
PARENTAL DEFINITIONS

AMNESIA: condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to
do it again.

FAMILY PLANNING: the art of spacing your children the proper distance
apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the
strained carrots.

FULL NAME: what you call your child when you're mad at him/her.

GRANDPARENTS: people who think your children are wonderful even
though they're sure you're not raising them right.

HEARSAY: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

IMPREGNABLE: a woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

INDEPENDENT: what we want our children to be as long as they do
everything we say.

OW: the first word spoken by children with older siblings.

PRENATAL: when your life was still somewhat your own.

PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing
dry shoes into it.

SHOWOFF: a child who is more talented than yours.

STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it
and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to
make those familiar grunting noises.

VERBAL: able to whine in words
=============
From a forwarded email.

Chip
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