...and spinning rapidly she smashed Muffin over the head with a wet noodle. Muff was instantly in the land of Peter Pan. A chiaroscuro floated through her head, narrowly missing her brain. Sweet dreams enveloped her and took her back to a time of innocence...
...she was in the gym. Across from her was a dazzling hunk doing seemingly endless bicep curls. Catching her staring at him he dropped the weights (noisily) and approached her. "I'm the trainer here, he said. "you wanna show me what you got? You can start by showing me your snatch".
Muffin demurred by explaining that her snatch was not perfect. However, she offered to show him a clean and jerk. This having been consummated, they went on to the performance of chin ups and deep knee bends. By this time Muffin was totally exhausted, and, as well, she felt rather dirty. She headed off toward the male showers. (Muffin had never felt comfortable disrobing in front of other females)...and she did feel rather dirty...almost like a filthy tramp.
Arriving at the shower area, Muffy disrobed sensuously...but suddenly she was dismayed. There was no soap! A huge goat approached her (and fortunately, this was a dream); he was selling fox gloves and buttercups. She bought two of the gloves and three of the buttercups. Dipping her hand in the buttercup (after first donning the gloves), she lovingly spread dollop after dollop of fresh butter over her entire body. She tingled all over! Stepping through a doorway she found herself in a sauna. Now she stretched out upon the bench, glorious in her nakedness, and allowed the butter to melt and dance upon her skin.
She knew she was bad, and she knew she was going to hell, but she was sating herself with the most exquisite delight! Oh, oh, oh...was this heaven, or what?! No! No! No! She was going to Hell! Now she remembered: she had self love. At least she thought it was love, but she wasn't sure. It might have been primitive, animalistic lust. Well, whatever! Her brain was turning into butter!
Suddenly she was outside the sauna and standing at the foot of a dark alleyway. An old man leered at her as she stood ruminating in front of him. :"I need to know where to find the river Styx", said Muffin, "I am very bad girl"!
The man had obsidian eyes that were glazed with a vanilla coating: "I know you, don't I?" he screeched. "You're from Canada, eh???" Suddenly, a bakery cart careened around the corner, heading straight toward the old man. "short bread!", he screamed. He spun upon his heels (which wove a circle round him thrice), and he flung himself into the alley, moaning like a banshee, and was soon swallowed by the utter darkness (Muffin being nowhere near him at this point).
Behind him his lonely sign swung and clanked in the wind as the dust from the street roiled around it. Muffin stared transfixed at the name... |
