Sadie and Esther of women were playing golf one sunny Sunday morning. The
first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed
directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. Indeed, the
ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together
at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in
evident agony.
Sadie rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She
said, "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I
could relieve your pain if you'd allow."
"Ummph, oooh, nnooo, I'll be all right...I'll be fine in a few minutes,"
he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still
clasping his hands together at his crotch.
But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently
took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants,
and she put her hands inside. She began to massage him. She then asked
him, "How does that feel?"
To which he replied, "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."
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A young priest gets up in the morning and goes to breakfast. On his way there two nuns look at him and he says, "Good morning sisters" and they reply in a sing song manner, "You got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."
This stuns the priest who thought he had been very polite but he just goes on. He encounters a Brother a little while later along the way and he says, "Good morning Brother." The Brother replies in a sing song voice, "You got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." The priest looks confused at all this but goes on.
He gets a little farther and he comes across a fellow priest and he says, "Good
jgs morning Father." The priest replies in a sing song manner, "You got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." Now the priest was mad. He continues his walk to the dinning hall not saying a word to anyone.
The Bishop sees him and says, "Father " The young priest was
not going to take any more even from the bishop. He looks at the bishop and says, "No I did not get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."
The bishop looks at him stunned and says "What?"
The priest realized his mistake and said "I am sorry your holiness,
what is it you want." The bishop looks at him and says,
"All I was going to do was ask you why you had on Sister Ann's shoes?"
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Jerry is hired to play his trumpet on the score of a movie, and he's excited. He's
especially thrilled because he gets to take two long solos. After the sessions, which go great, Jerry can't wait to see the finished product. He asks the producer where and when he can catch the film.
A little embarrassed, the producer explains that the music is for a
porno flick that will be out in a month, and he tells Jerry where he
can go to see it.
A month later, Jerry, with his collar up and wearing glasses, goes to
the theatre where the picture is playing. He walks in and sits way in
the back, next to an elderly couple who also seem to be disguised and
hiding out.
The movie starts, and it's the filthiest, most perverse porno flick
ever... group sex, S&M, golden showers...and then, halfway through, a
dog gets in on the action. Before anyone can blink an eye, the dog has had sex with all the women in every orifice, and most of the men.
Embarrassed, Jerry turns to the old couple and whispers, "I'm only here
for the music."
The woman turns to Jerry and whispers, "We're here to see our dog." |
