Contains material that may be offensive to some.
> T'was The Night Before Crisis
> ******************************
> Twas the night before crisis,
> And behind White House doors,
> Not a creature was stirring,
> Especially Al Gore.
>
> The interns were nestled,
> Dressed in their berets,
> In hopes that Saint Bubba
> Would come out to play.
>
> When on the East Lawn,
> There arose such a clatter,
> Even Sam Donaldson
> Lost control of his bladder.
>
> Away to our TVs
> We flew like a flash,
> There's a special report,
> And it's pre-empting M*A*S*H!
>
> And what to our wondering
> Eyes should appear,
> But a homely lil' troll,
> With tapes for us to hear.
>
> With a K-Mart bought blazer,
> And a bad frizzy 'do,
> And a tale to be told-
> To me, and to you.
>
> On the chair! On the carpet!
> On the Oval Office desk!
> With a chubby young intern,
> Who was all eyes and chest.
>
> The Pres had been careless,
> Indeed, dumb and dumber.
> Now the whole world knew
> Bubba Had gotten a hummer.
>
> And Monica Lewinsky
> Emerged from the rubble,
> If she'd just kept her mouth shut,
> We'd not have all this trouble.
>
> And thus set in motion,
> A whole web o' spiders,
> With pundits galore,
> And "White House insiders.
>
> You ask, "Who would care
> About Bill and his penis?"
> Republican Ken Starr,
> And he's armed with subpoenas!
>
> More rapid than eagles,
> Process servers, they flew!
> "Here's one for you!
> And for you! And you, too!"
>
> "Now Jordan! Now Cockell!
> Is there anyone else?!?
> Let's subpoena the lawyers!
> And Bubba himself!!"
>
> "We want you to tell us
> About Bill's private life,
> And anyone he sleeps with,
> 'cept, of course, his wife."
>
> And many months later,
> After long we've all suffered,
> Let's examine more closely
> Just what Starr's uncovered.
>
> We've learned "Little Bill"
> Has a mind of his own,
> And - horror of horrors -
> He likes to get blown!
>
> A funny fact surfaced, After 40 million bucks:
> Seems most people don't care
> Just who Clinton, er, makes love to.
>
> The economy's great,
> And shows no signs of slowing.
> Hell, we hope Ms. Lewinsky
> NEVER stops blowing!
>
> Now the public's grown weary.
> Will this sleaze never end?
> We just want to get back
> To "E.R.", and to "Friends."
>
> Now Monica, Linda --
> And Ken Starr, you suck -
> Get the hell off my TV,
> Your 15 minutes are up.
>
~
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