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Pastimes : Jokes
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To: Vanni Resta who wrote ()8/27/1998 6:29:00 PM
From: S.C. Barnard  Read Replies (1) of 2733
 
Here They ARE!!!!

How to Brighten Your Day by Annoying Others! (Part 1)

1. Leave the copy machine set to 99 copies, reduce 200%, extra dark,
17-inch paper.

2. In the memo field of all your checks write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify over and over that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets in the break room.

5.Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather
conditions, "to keep them tuned up."

More Ways to Annoy Others (Part II)

6. Reply to everything someone says with "That's what YOU think."

7. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and send copies to
your boss under a co-worker's name.

8. Make beeping noises when you back up.

9. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

10. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across
the room during a meeting.

More Methods to Annoy Others (Part III)

11. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

12. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green and insist to
others you "like it that way."

13. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

14. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat the complimentary
mints by the cash register.

15. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

And Finally, Try These Ways to Annoy Others (Part IV)

16. Ask your coworkers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers
in a notebook and mutter something about "psychological profiles."

17. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

18. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if
they slow down.

19. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

20. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

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