Sam,
Now, as to that Catholic bible I mentioned earlier: I opened it and began to read. Within seconds, I shut it sharply.
What was happening was that its words were jumping out at me at such a pace, with such weight and power that I couldn't contain it for more than a moment or two. Every single important question of my life had resolved into sharp focus. The overview from the heavens gave a shape to this world that none of my philosophy nor the combined efforts of earth-bound mortals or religious pontificators had ever done for me. I was overwhelmed but not reduced. The blighted rose was healed.
That effect, though dimmed, has never departed. I've not always been faithful to all that I've come to know. I have found a patient God. My humility is that of one who sees himself as he is against the backdrop of overwhelming truth. Why should I ever return to self-management which had brought me to such depths of misery?
Icarus could not fly into the sun. It's much too hot for me. I'll bide my time and wait to see what is beyond the sun when I'm more suitably dressed in immortality.
Perhaps there are souls better than mine, who can manage much more than I ever could. I hope the best for them all. I mean that.
But I know that my Redeemer lives! He lives inside of me. Who has the power to dispute it for me?
No, my friend Sam, I have Someone who has illumined the path for me. Your offer touches me in that it is kind and it seeks to help because you believe in what you profess: That the world needs truth to solve its desperate condition. (At least that is the gist of what I think you believe. You may correct me on your views if you wish.) I praise you for that feature of your soul.
I as well believe in what I profess and after 25 years of it, and under great pressures during that time, I could never deny what I know so clearly now. Such a denial on my part would be done in the full knowledge that I was denying the undeniable. Others may mock to their heart's content or dismiss me as a fly on the wall. Let them. It cannot change what I know. If you were I, could you? .
I've never wished to fight with anyone over it because it is dear to me, although I do not believe it to be fragile. God needs me to "defend" Him like a granite rock needs a wooden fence. It was here before I arrived and it will be here long after I am gone. It will always cleft for those in need of refuge.
With kindest regards,
Stan |
