Mrs. Bandlow says to her husband,..... "I had the strangest dream last night. It was Christmas, and our tree was decorated with all kinds of penises. White ones, black ones, circumcised and uncircumcised, big and small. And on the top of the tree was the *perfect* penis."
Mr. Bandlow says, "I bet that one was mine."
She says, "Sorry, honey, it wasn't."
He says, "You know, it's weird, but I had almost the same dream. A Christmas tree decorated with pussies...shaven and unshaven, thin and thick lips, scented and unscented... and the one on the top was the *perfect*pussy."
She says, "I suppose that one on the top was mine?"
He says, "Nope. Yours was holding up the tree!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said: "I don't like the looks of your wife at all."
"Me either doc." said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ What do Monica Lewinski and soda machines have in common? Both have slots which say 'Insert Bill Here.'
What help wanted ad did Monica Lewinski answer? Be a White House intern and get a taste of the Presidency!
There's a new Bill Clinton computer coming out soon. It will have a 6 inch hard drive, but no memory.
Bill was recently overheard complimenting Monica's appearance. "She's got the whitest teeth I've ever come across."
What's the difference between Clinton and a screwdriver? A screw driver turns in screws while Clinton screws interns. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Q: Why are there 2 X's on Dos Equis beer?
A: Every Mexican needs a co-signer. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A girl sat sobbing in the police station..... "I was raped by a Polack," she wailed. "How do you know it was a Polack?" the detective asked. "I had to help him!" the girl replied.
Q: Why do birds fly upside down over Poland? A: Because there's nothing worth shitting on. |