"What?", screamed Muffy, incredulously.
"You interrupted my chance to win a free trip to Aruba for this? Have you no common decency in your Satin-loving body? I've been wanting to visit Aruba since I was a little girl in the orphanage when I saw a documentary on the Discovery Channel."
With that outburst purged from her system, Muffy threw the cellular phone on the bed and again picked up the receiver of the motel room's telephone and put it to her ear.
"Hurry, ma'am. You only have 10 seconds. What's your answer?", prodded the telephone solicitor.
Muffy, realizing that she had missed hearing the all important question, was frantic. "Ten seconds? Can I hear the question again?"
"There isn't time to repeat the question, ma'am. Just give us a guess."
Muffy thought hard. "How do I answer a question when I don't know what the question was?", she wondered. "I only have about 5 seconds left. I better just answer SOMETHING!!"
Thinking back over her experience with many years of unsolicited telephone solicitors' questions, she took a wild guess ...
"Grant!", she screamed into the phone. "It was Ulysses S. Grant!"
"Yes!", said the telephone solicitor. "It was Grant who was buried in Grant's Tomb! Congratulations ma'am! You and a companion of your choice are going to Aruba! Now, if you'll be so kind as to give me your name and address so we can mail your tickets to you, we'll get them out to you this afternoon ..."
Just then the phone went dead. Muffy was shocked! "Hello? Hello? Is anybody there?"
Muffy caught a glimpse of the Motel Manager in the mirror. He was holding the other end of the telephone wire which he had disconnected from the wall. "How dare you speak with someone else when Janice is on the cellular phone! This will teach you to be so rude to a Silicon Investor poster!"
Muffy, wide eyed with anger, pulled her pistol from the holster tucked so cleverly away on her inside thigh and aimed it directly at the Motel Manager. The MM, surprised to see the pistol, immediately wondered why he hadn't seen the hidden holster while he was staring at the naked Muffy through the un-draped window. Then, he realized. It was a flesh colored holster! "Hey, great idea!", he thought. "I'll have to get one of those for my daughter this Christmas. She's really into fireworks and stuff."
As he bent over to plug the telephone wire back into the wall, he disappeared out of Muffy's gun sight. Muffy fired! The bullet shattered the Motel window and smashed the windshield of the police cruiser that had just pulled up outside Muffy's room.
Muffy panicked! Shooting at police officers was a definite no-no. She ran into the bathroom, slammed the door, and escaped out the bathroom window, her satin drapes/kimono glowing in the sunshine.
Back in the hotel room, the Motel Manager realized he would have to change his pants. The policemen burst through the motel door with guns drawn. Finding nobody there but a smelly Motel Manager, the younger cop picked up the cellular phone.
"Hello?", said the cop.
On the other end of the line, Janice had been impatiently waiting for Muffy's response to her offer to become an SI Satinist. Janice was surprised by Muffy's outburst about Aruba, and then the loud pop that sounded like gunfire, followed by the sound of a door slamming, and then the male voice on the line.
Trying to make sense of the rapidly occurring events, Janice said ... |
