Ok so the Star report has everyone down. Time to smile. This too shall pass:
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a maddening
passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. Then
one day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent
that they would marry, he thought to himself, "she is such a
sweet and gentle woman, she will never go for this kind of
carrying on." So, he made the supreme sacrifice... and gave
up beans. They were married shortly thereafter.
Some months later, his car broke down on the way home from
work and since they lived in the country, he called his wife
and told her that he would be late because he had to walk
home.
On his way, he passed a small cafe and the aroma of freshly
baked beans was overwhelming. Since he still had several
miles to walk, he figured he would work off any ill effects
before he got home, so he stopped at the cafe. Before
leaving, he had eaten three large orders of the best baked
beans he'd had in years.
All the way home, he putt-putted, and after arriving, felt
reasonably safe that he had putted his last. His dear wife
seemed somewhat agitated and excited to see him and exclaimed
delightedly, " Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for
dinner tonight." She then blindfolded him and led him to his
chair at the head of the dining room table. He seated himself
and just as she was ready to remove the blindfold, the
telephone rang. She made him vow not to touch the blindfold
until she returned, and then went to answer the phone. He
seized the opportunity, lifted his weight to one leg, and let
go. It was not only loud, but as ripe as rotten eggs. He
took the napkin from his lap and vigorously fanned the air
around him. Things had just returned to normal when another
urge coming on him so he shifted his weight to the other leg
and let go again. This was a true prize winner!
While keeping his ear on the conversation in the hall, he went
on like this for ten minutes, until he knew the phone
farewells indicated an end to his loneliness, and freedom. He
placed his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of
it, and smiling contentedly to himself, was the picture of
innocence when his wife returned apologizing for taking so
long.
She asked if he had peeked and he, of course, assured her that
he had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold and
there was his surprise.
Twelve dinner guests seated around the table for a surprise
birthday party for him. |
