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Pastimes : Jokes

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To: richard surckla who wrote (583)	9/16/1998 1:48:00 AM
From: treetopflier	Read Replies (1) of 2733

More Clinton humor... As Air Force One prepares to land, the captain makes his customary request over the loudspeaker: "Mr. President, would you please return the stewardess to the upright position and prepare to land?" Q: What is the difference between Clinton and a screwdriver? A: A screwdriver turns in screws. Clinton screws interns! Q: Did you hear that Clinton has announced there is a new national bird? A: The spread eagle. A reporter asked Clinton one day: "Was Monica lying?" Clinton responded by saying: "No, she was on her knees." Q: Why does Hillary want to have sex with Bill every day at 5 am? A: She wants to make sure that she is the first lady. The Spelling Bee... Dan Quayle, Frank Gifford and Bill Clinton were in a spelling contest. Unbelievably, Quayle won! He was the only one of the three who knew that "harass" was one word. Q: How many White House Interns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, they are too busy screwing the President. Women in Washington, DC were asked if they would have sex with the President. 86% said, "not again." Clinton's team of advisors have offered the following defense ... Clinton NEVER told Monica to lie in deposition! He told her to lie in THIS position... Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and Bob Dole have in common? A: They were both upset when Bill finished first. Q: What is Bill's definition of safe sex? A: When Hillary is out of town. Q: What is the difference between Clinton and the Titanic? A: Only 200 women went down on the Titanic. Q: Why is Clinton so interested in events in the Middle East? A: He thinks that Gaza Strip is a topless bar.

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