You know what, I am really dense sometimes. For this, I apologize. It is quite obvious to me now what you have been trying to do with your idio(t)syncratic posts to me. And, I'm starting to feel kind of embarrassed by all that I have heaped on you recently, despite your earlier abuse of me.
In your own, somewhat pathetic (but still deserving of empathy) way, you really HAVE been trying to end this thing. I really get it now. You can't POSSIBLY admit that you were wrong, since doing that might destroy the illusion you so need to survive. So, in the only way you know how, you have really been saying, Yes, Len, I surrender. I realize now that I am indeed a nobody, despite my attempts for so, so long, to make it look the other way. I am sorry for being such a total a-hole, for attacking others for shortcomings I saw within myself, for refusing to give of myself what I kept demanding and insisting from others, and especially, for showing my true self to you, in the private messages I sent, wherein I admitted to you my long suffering difficulties in getting along with people and fitting in, in this confusing world, and also where I asked that you let me off the hook publicly. I apologize, in addition, for constantly saying I was interested in true discussion, insisting only on intellectual honesty, when in reality I only insisted that all play by MY rules, (which are totally different) and that my inability to carry on this subterfuge, when confronted with someone who was not afraid to challenge me to my own game, kept me from adequately answering you. I also, by way of the staccato repetition of that post, sincerely promise to not post to you anymore, nor attempt to belittle you by calling anyone's attention to you or our previous escapades. I do realize that I will have to again post my silly little post, but I know you will understand that it comes from a place I have never quite gotten a hold of, from deep inside, that child in me, the one who absolutely HAS to get the last word. The one who likewise makes me pick up my marbles and go home, when I don't get my way. I hope you will let me continue to ply my trade here, at least to those new people who have yet to find me out. Thank you for your grace in not humiliating me anymore.
Well, Mr. DART, you've got it. As it would be silly for me to keep knocking you down further and further, I will indeed accept your apologies, and will again, as I have always been willing to, live my life, and let you live yours. In fact, please accept my apologies for not seeing sooner, what you were trying to say to me. I'm sorry you had to suffer the few extra humiliating posts I sent. My skills must have slipped. I'll take some more continuing professional education course, so that I won't miss such reaching out again.
One caveat, though....I will be watching, you know, as I must protect myself, so should I see you acting up again, at least with regards to me, I will again be forced to come and rap your knuckles, send you to the corner, and just start this all over again. Wouldn't that be a shame, Mr. DART. I think so. It would make me very sad. Please, limit yourself to only the little teeny weeny idio(t)syncratic posts, OK? OK.
Your (clear to everyone) master
Len
Note...italics above have a special meaning...just in case I am wrong, and you do come out from under that rock you have built for yourself. |
