Einstein dies and goes to heaven only to be informed that his room is
> not yet ready. "I hope you will not mind waiting in a dormitory. We
> are very sorry, but it's the best we can do and you will have to share
> the room with others," he is told by the doorman (say his name is
> Pete). Einstein says that this is no problem at all and that there is
> no need to make such a great fuss. So Pete leads him to the dorm.
> They enter and Albert is introduced to all of the present
> inhabitants. "See, here is your first room mate. He has an IQ of
> 180!"
> "Why that's wonderful!" says Albert. "We can discuss mathematics!"
> "And here is your second room mate. His IQ is 150!"
> "Why that's wonderful!" says Albert. "We can discuss physics!"
> "And here is your third room mate. His IQ is 100!"
> "That's wonderful! We can discuss the latest plays at the theater!"
> Just then another man moves out to capture Albert's hand and shake it.
> "I'm your last room mate and I'm sorry, but my IQ is only 70."
> Albert smiles back at him and says, "So, where do you think interest
> rates are headed?"
>
> *******************************************************************
CNN recently set up a 1-800 number so that people could call with questions
and
comments about programming. That number is 1-800-TALKCNN. Mistakenly, CNN
advertised the 1-800 number as 1-800-CNNTALK.
Call the second number and see why CNN is in a public relation nightmare
about
their advertising blunder.
Don't worry, it's toll free.
**********************************************************************
USA Today, Palo Alto, CA (AP) - "Yesterday, scientists
revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.
To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of
beer each. They observed that 100% of them gained weight,
talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and
couldn't drive. No further testing is planned."
********************************************************************** A lawyer and a blonde woman are sitting next to each other
> on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to
> her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The
> blonde is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she
> politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a
> few winks. The lawyer persists, saying that the game is
> really easy and a lot of fun.
>
> He explains how the game works: "I ask you a question, and
> if you don't know the answer, you pay me, and visa-versa."
>
> Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep.
>
> The chauvinistic lawyer figures that since his opponent
> is a blonde he will easily win the match, so he makes
> another offer:
>
> "Okay, how about this "If you don't know the answer you
> pay me only $5, but if I don't know the answer, I will pay
> you $50."
>
> This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that
> there will be no end to this torment unless she plays,
> she agrees to play the game.
>
> The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance
> from the earth to the moon?"
>
> The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse,
> pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
>
> Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes
> up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?"
>
> The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out
> his laptop computer and searches all his references. He
> taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net
> and even the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends
> E-mails to all his co-workers and friends he knows. All to
> no avail.
>
> After over an hour, of searching for the answer he finally
> gives up. He wakes the blonde and hands her $50.
>
> The blonde politely takes the $50 and turns away to get
> back to sleep.
>
> The lawyer, who is more than a little frustrated, wakes the
> blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer?"
>
> Again without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse,
> hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
> |
