A little boy and his grandfather were enjoying an afternoon of fishing
together. The old man pulled a fat stogie out of his shirt pocket, lit up,
and took a few puffs, clearly enjoying himself.
The boy looked up. "Grandpa, can I try that?" Grandpa looked startled, then
crafty. "Let me put it this way, son...Can your pecker touch your butt?"
"Well...no," the little boy replied.
"Then you're not old enough," said Grandpa, and that was that.
A while later, the old man pulled a flask out of his boot and took a swig,
again clearly with pleasure. The boy tried again, hopeful but half knowing
what the answer would be. "Grandpa, can I try that?" Grandpa grinned down
at him. "Can your pecker touch your butt?"
The boy stared at the ground. "No," he said sheepishly.
"Then you're not old enough," said Grandpa, and that was that.
The pair stopped for a soda at the Handy-Mart on the way home, and Grandpa
got a pair of instant lottery tickets. He gave one to the boy and scratched
the second ticket himself. Nothing. The little boy said, "Grandpa, mine
has a lot of numbers on it. Does that mean I won?"
Grandpa looked over the boy's shoulder; it was a $10,000 winner. He tried to
hide his excitement. "By golly, son, you did alright. Could I have that
ticket, please?"
The little boy, suddenly wary, thought for a moment, "Grandpa, can your
pecker touch your butt?" The old man certainly was not about to retract the
afternoon's conversations. "Why, of course it can", he replied.
The little boy smiled and said "Then you can go fuck yourself".
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