A Jewish fellow and a Ukranian fellow were walking down the sidewalk opposite of each other and both spot a dime on the ground. They bump their heads together trying to pick it up.
Agreeing that they were both reaching for the dime at the same time, they decide to meet each other the following week to discuss who has the best story of stretching a dime out the most efficiently. The winner gets to keep the coin.
A week later they meet in the street, they flip a coin to see who is to tell the story first. The Jewish fellow goes first. "Vell", says the Jew, "On the first day I bought a dime cigar, and smoked a thoid (third) of it and saved the ashes". "On the second day I smoked the second thoid of it and saved the ashes". "On the thoid day I smoked the last thoid of it and saved the ashes". "On the foith day I gave the ashes to my dear wife Ida, and she used the ashes to fertilze the roses". The Jew asks; "How's that for being thrifty?" the Ukranian says "Dat's not dat bad, but I tink I may have beat you!"
The Ukranian goes on...."on the first day I went to da Polish butcher and bought myself a dime sausage". "I went home and ate half of it". "On the second day I ate de other half". "On the third day, I took the skin of the sausage and used it as a prophilactic when I made love to my wife dat night". "On the fourth day I took a shit and put it in the skin of the sausage". "On the fifth day I went back to the Polish butcher and told him dat da sausage tasted like shit, and he gave me my dime back!" |
