".....vodka.....least likely to cause rotgut." This is valuable information, to me. Spouse is concerned about my liver, as am I. I have often wondered which of the life-sustaining fluids was the least offensive to the corporeal baggage. I've even asked both physician and psychiatrist, and neither knew, and both thought I shouldn't be asking, and I though goddamit, they both should know. I mean, who sees the most people poisoning their plumbing?
I'm supposed to ask the liquor store? Huh?
If so, they should have a case in there, alongside the mixers, that has livers in it. Signs underneath: "25 Years; vodka." "22 years, cognac." "Three hours, gin".
Liver strips. Oh, I don't mean from livers, I mean they need Liver Strips. Things you can get at the pregnancy-tools newsstand that test your liver. Purple you're fine, red you're thin icing, orange you're dying.
Alex?
How about gene test-strips that say "Don't have children, you dummy"?
Alex?
PS: Holly, you were a weird kid. I love ya. Someone finally cares about your humanity-serving study. |
