Here's one I received in the mail this morning......
DOES THIS SOUND LIKE YOUR KID????
Somewhere in America, next week
Dad - Son, come in here, we need to talk.
Son - What's up, Dad?
Dad - There's a scratch down the side of the car. Did you do it?
Son - I don't believe, if I understand the definition of "scratch the
car," that I can say, truthfully, that I did not scratch the car.
D- Well, it wasn't there yesterday, and you drove the car last night,
and no one else has driven it since. How can you explain the scratch?
S- Well, as I've said before, I have no recollection of scratching
the car. While it is true that I did take the car out last night, I did not scratch it.
D- But your sister, Monica, has told me she saw you back the car
against the mailbox at the end of the driveway, heard a loud scraping sound, saw you get out to examine the car, and then drive away. So again I'll ask you, yes or no, did you scratch the car?
S- Oh, you mean you think you have evidence to prove I scratched it.
Well, you see, I understood you to mean did "I" scratch the car. I stand by my earlier statement, that I did not scratch the car.
D- Are you trying to tell me you didn't drive the car into the
mailbox?
S- Well, you see sir, I was trying to drive the car into the street. I mishandled the steering of the car, and it resulted in direct contact with the mailbox, though that was clearly not my intent.
D- So you are then saying that you did hit the mailbox?
S- No sir, that's not my statement. I'll refer you back to my original
statement that I did not scratch the car.
D- But the car did hit the mailbox, and the car did get scratched as a result of this contact?
S- Well, yes, I suppose you could look at it that way.
D- So you lied to me when you said you did not scratch the car?
S- No. No, that's not correct. Your question was "Did I scratch the
car?". From a strict legal definition, as I understood the meaning of
that sentence, I did not scratch the car ... the mailbox did ... I was merely present when the scratching occurred. So my answer of No" when you asked "Did I scratch the car" was legally correct, although I did not volunteer information.
D- Where in the hell did you learn to be such a smart ass?
S- From The President of the United States.
D- I see. |
