I once was working in a barn, and a hefty calf, a little veal I guess that would be, sneaked up behind me and tried to get milk outta me. Darn, I'll tell you, I can see why they came up with veal. Those mommy cows put up with the unmeasureable. The calves put their bony muscle-y heads down to the ground ~ between any, any, pair of wishbone legs they can find ~ and then jerk upwards as hard and fast as they can, from their sawhorse, belt-high shoulders. Like a front-end loader with hydraulic spasms. This is sposed to let mommy know they're there, uh huh, and stimulate the flow of milk, or burst her like a water balloon, in my estimate. If udders weren't leather, they wouldn't work. This may have been the most painful experience of my life. I was nearly knocked unconscious, I kid ya not. Compressed me and my spine, from the bottom up. You know how you see those running calves push cowboys all over the place? I had to be rescued, as he tried to eat me like grass, after I was flat.
So don't let people tell you it's easy being a veggie.
Damn I've had a long life.
Not a fertile one, either. |
