I read your impromptu poem on the romance of the vegetarian stove and I realize what a culinary invalid I am.
Yeah- And he made it sound so appealing and so right that you know you must be at fault, that it's your problem, that you somehow took a wrong turn on the dietary road of life and now wander in the ghetto of grease and fats and bad things, far from the clean high rise of vegetable yuppiedom. Even though Gaugie is extremely kind and sweet and not at all obnoxious in his veggie state, don't you feel inferior? This weekend I made Spaghetti Bolognese from scratch (Kid's verdict--"We like the stuff from the jar better") and I felt really proud until I was bragging to Gaugie and realized it had MEAT, so then I was embarrassed. I mean, I don't lie to him. Sometimes I even get uppity and say things like, "I just ate raw hamburger." Just to gross him out--which is very hard to do. But in my heart,I know he's right. Just like my kids know I am about everything.
And besides, there are people like you who make even people like me look healthy. ha ha ha. I like apricots and cumin and lentils. You , my dear, are trapped in a teenage timewarp. Gaugie is right. Your gag reflex never became muted by the passing of the years. Hopefully, your body has retained the wonderful ability to utilize all the crap you put in it the way my kids seem to. THey grow pale and vacant on a diet of nourishing, nutritious food. They NEED preservatives, and sugar and grease to survive and function at their peak. Maybe it's evolution and you were a forerunner. |
