Off-topic: Ken: I don't know why it is, but increasingly I find myself feeling mentally unwell. Perhaps it's because of recent reversals in my trading.
I find that I'm overly sensitive when it comes to my own feelings, but completely insensitive toward others. I even think I'm developing some of the symptoms of paranoia. I'm more and more argumentative, critical, outspoken, sullen, stubborn, suspicious and generally unable to get along with others. My opinions are more rigid, and my apparent self-confidence conceals insecurities and extreme self-consciousness.
I've developed feelings of resentment toward others, feelings of persecution. I feel that groups of people are conspiring against me, prying into my affairs. I revive -- or imagine -- incidents of the past to support my suspicions, my contentions, and give them new interpretation. I've heard this behavior called "retrospective falsification," and heard it described as a symptom of paranoia, and I'm concerned.
As my delusions expand, any incident, however trivial, has overvalued significance, and no amount of argument can change my attitude. I know I am right, and my paranoia doesn't allow me to think otherwise. More and more, I'm given to morose contemplation of my failures in trading, and I try to fix the blame for those failures on others.
I know this thread wasn't intended as a mental health forum, but can you recommend anything that might help me?
Brooke |
