A well to do couple had a child that instead of a navel had a
golden screw. As he grew up it cause him many embarrassments; he
couldn't go without a shirt, or press himself against anyone without
being embarrassed. When he was in his early twenties he decided he
couldn't go on. He decided he would take a ship around the world and
commit suicide, at sea, on the final leg.
As the ship toured the world, he would get off in each port and
look around and did all the touristy things. He was still despondent
and decided he would go ashore one more time, in one more foreign
port, come back to the ship and commit suicide.
He went ashore in a small asian port. As he was looking around he
saw a sign that said "Elixirs" "We can fix anything." He walked into
the shop where a little old woman greeted him by saying "You have a
golden screw where your navel belongs. We have an elixir just for
you." Needless to say he was skeptical, but he bought it and went back
to the boat to follow the elaborate directions he had been given.
When he got on the boat, he went to his cabin and opened the
porthole. He put the bottle of elixir on the dresser closest to the
porthole and went to eat. When he came back he showered, put on his
pajamas, leaving the top unbuttoned. He drank the elixir, put the
bottle on the dresser, closest to the porthole, and laid down, careful
to stay on his back. Immediately, as promised, he went to sleep.
As he was sleeping a golden cloud drifted through the open
porthole. The golden cloud came right over where he lay sleeping; a
golden thread descended from the golden cloud; at the end of the
golden thread was a golden screwdriver, The golden screwdriver
unscrewed his golden screw and whisked it away to heaven.
He woke up and thought he had been dreaming about the golden cloud
but he reached down and, lo and behold, the golden screw was gone. He
lay there a few seconds in bewilderment but got so excited that he
jumped out of bed:
And his ass fell off! |
