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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke

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To: iGregor who wrote (7412)	10/21/1998 11:58:00 AM
From: Anthony Graham Poyser	Read Replies (10) of 62542

A few jokes coming up. I hope this one translates OK from UK English... Authentic (allegedly) complaints received by Local Councils from their >>Tenants: I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my >> nob off. >> >> I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he >>Put his foot in the hole in his back passage. >> >> Their 18 year old son is continuously banging his balls against my >> fence. Not only is this making a hell of a noise, but the fence is now >> sagging in the middle. >> >> This is to let you know there is a smell coming from the man next >>door. >> >> I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the >>wall. >> >> I wish to report that tiles are missing from the roof of the outside >> toilet and I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off. >> >> I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen. >> >> The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is >> cleared. >> >> Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour >>and not fit to drink. >> >> Would you please send a man to repair my spout, I am an old age >> pensioner and need it straight away. >> >> I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at >> 5.30 his cock wakes me up and it's getting too much. It's all right >>when my husband is on day-shift, but when he's on back-shifts or nights >I >>get it several times a week from Mr Docherty next door and at my age >it's >> too much. >> >> The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is >> unsightly and dangerous. >> >> Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and would like a >> third, so will you please send someone to do something about it. >> >> The toilet seat is cracked - where do I stand? >> >> I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would be pleased >>If you could do something about the noise made by the man I have on top >>of me every night. >> >> Please send a man with clean tools to finish the job and satisfy the >> wife. >> >> Can you send a carpenter to the house. When the woman next door closed >> the door the other night, she pulled at my knob too hard and now it's >> ready to fall off. >> >> >> >>I have had the Clerk of the Works down on the floor six times, but >>still have no satisfaction. >> >> We are getting married in September and would like it in the garden >> before we move into the house.

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