This was em'd to me a while back w/o the introductory para, and I thought it was funny then and still do. Just took it off another thread for your amusement:
---------------------------------
In the wake of the Federal anti-trust suit
against Microsoft, Sony has
announced its own computer operating system
now available on its hot new portable PC called
the Vaio. Instead of producing the cryptic error
messages characteristic of Microsoft's Windows
95, 3.1, and DOS operating systems, Sony's
chairman Asai Tawara said, "We intend to
capture the high ground by putting a human,
Japanese face on what has been, until now, an
operating system that reflects Western cultural
hegemony. For example, we have replaced the
usual impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error
messages with our own Japanese haiku poetry."
The chairman went on to give examples of Sony's
new error messages:
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
The Web site you seek
cannot be located but
endless others exist
ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have.
You ask way too much.
First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.
With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
My Novel" not found.
The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
Stay the patient course
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down
A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.
Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
Rather than a beep
Or a rude error message,
These words: "File not found."
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank. |
