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Biotech / Medical : Pluvia vs. Westergaard
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To: Josef Svejk who wrote (1248)10/26/1998 8:32:00 AM
From: Hoatzin  Read Replies (1) of 1267
 
WESTERGAARD TO REPLACE GLENN IN SPACE LAUNCH

Cape Payola, Fla. October 26, 1998

NASA announced today that astronaut and Senator John Glenn would be replaced on Thursday's launch of the space shuttle Discovery by degenerate, Jabba the Hutt look-a-like stock weasel Westergaard. The other nobodies on the crew will also remain on Earth while loathsome blimp Westy is blasted into an orbit several thousand miles above the Earth. To mark the occasion, the space craft is to be renamed "Despicable."

Drooling, degenerate stock tout Westergaard's mission while in space will be to correct the embedded processors in thousands of GPS satellites. Once this mindless but socially useful task is accomplished, Westergaard will continue to repay his debt to mankind by remaining in perpetual orbit as a protective barrier against dangerous asteroids.

A spokesperson for NASA denied that taxpayer dollars would pay for the many additional booster rockets required to propel this huge unsightly payload away from the earth's gravitational pull. "This mission was entirely funded by donations from wealthy Silicon Investor readers, who have preserved billions of dollars of their capital by simply avoiding any of the worthless trash stocks touted by Westergaard."
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