... that was the latest hit by Country Joe and the Fish! Now, let's spin the newest morsel from Janis Joplin ...
"Geez, what hick music!", thought Muffy, as she clicked off the radio.
She let her thoughts wander as they sped down the highway, the white lines of the highway almost hypnotizing her. She thought again of the orphanage, of the kind caretaker who raised her, and that evil "Daddy Mensa" who taught her the more sordid ins-and-outs of life.
She was so engrossed in her memories that she almost missed the turnoff to the dirt road. "Hey, what the heck ... this road might lead to something interesting. Let's give it a try." Muffy laughed to herself. "Ha! I'm letting this story get to me. Here I am in the cab of an 18 wheeler ... all alone ... and I'm talking to myself."
Then, she remembered her passenger, Norma, who was asleep in the back compartment. She hoped the bumpy dirt road wouldn't wake her up. Norma looked exhausted. "Hey, wait a minute. I'm the one who's tired", thought Muffy. "How come she gets to sleep?"
Muffy pulled the 18 wheeler over to the side of the dirt road, the air brakes making a loud hissing sound as she came to a full stop in a roadside rest stop. "Wow, that's weird", thought Muffy. "A rest stop on an old abandoned dirt road. I wonder how the locals got the federal government to OK the expenditure for this? Pretty nice, too. Vending machines, a newspaper stand. Nice restroom facilities."
Muffy heard a door slam! She quickly looked back into the sleeping compartment of the truck. Norma was gone! Muffy looked towards the restroom just in time to see a red haired young lady enter the door marked "Ladies". "That was pretty rude of her not to let me know she was leaving the truck", thought Muffy. "I'll fix her ... I'll just leave her here. But, wait ... then I still won't get any sleep. Hey, I'll just crawl back here and take my nap. I'll let Norma take the next driving shift."
Muffy squeezed through the sleeping compartment opening, laid down on the bench, and quickly dozed off.
Norma returned to the truck after stopping at the vending machine to buy a couple of Ding-Dongs. She noticed that Muffy was gone from the driver's seat. "Here's my chance to ditch that broad", she thought as she jumped into the cab and drove away.
Three miles down the road Norma noticed a street sign. "Automatic Time Restoration Portal, 100 yards." it said in big green letters.
"Groovy!", thought Norma, as she searched for the portal. She found it and drove the truck right into the portal, unaware that time portals were calibrated to automatically return to the time zone of the portal occupant who was born the latest. Even if she had known that fact, she wouldn't have realized that she'd be going into the future ... into Muffy's time zone ... because she thought Muffy had been left behind at the rest stop.
Lights flashed and bells dinged as the portal transported Muffy and Norma ... and the 18 wheeler ... to the current time.
The current time, yes ... but ... where were they?
On a suspension bridge. The sun was shining through the fog on it, giving it a golden aura. Norma looked up. There were men painting the bridge. She saw the maintenance truck parked below them. The sign on the side of the truck read "Your tax dollars at work: Golden Gate Restoration Project, 1998".
Just as Norma realized she was still driving the 18 wheeler at 45 MPH, she noticed the traffic in front of her was stopped dead. Norma slammed on the brakes, jack knifing the trailer at right angles to the cab. The tires squeeled as she came to a halt, totally blocking the North bound lanes of the Golden Gate Bridge. "Uh-oh ... I'm in trouble now", thought Norma. "How do I explain the fact that I'm jack knifed on the Golden Gate in a truck I don't own ... and I don't even have a truck driver's license. I'll just have to blame it on the fog."
The door of the cab flew open. A very angry young man was standing there looking up at Norma. "Geez, lady! What's your problem? Don'cha know how to drive this rig? When was the last time you had this old antique inspected, anyway?"
Just then, Muffy opened the sleeper compartment door and poked her head out. She saw the young man and couldn't believe her eyes. The last thing she remembered, she was in some podunk town on her way to WoodStock. Now, here she is back in the current time, blocking traffic on the Golden Gate Bridge, with a young version of Norma in the driver's seat, and she recognizes the guy who is all upset.
"Hey! Long time no see!", said Muffy to ... |
