Muffy looked around helplessly. The icy water was beginning to numb her extremities, and she was swallowing more and more salt water. It was becoming quite a struggle just to keep afloat. Just then a speedboat pulled up alongside her, and an arm reached out to pull her out of the frigid bay. An arm that seemed so familiar…
"Norma! Thank God! What are you doing here?"
"Well, I finally got back from Rome through the time portal, I was throwing coins in the fountain and the Swiss Guard arrested me, it's a long story, I'll save it for another time, anyway I got back and found you were gone, so I went to a waterfront bar for a quick fermented beverage. Time travel is so dehydrating, you know. Here, dry off with these nice fluffy towels. So anyway, I'm in this bar, and I start talking to these good-looking nautical guys. It turns out they are from the SEC's Waterway and Ocean Patrol, you know, the SECWOP, and their job is to protect investors from floating shills. They have a warrant for the "termination with extreme prejudice" of the person you were just talking with, if I'm not mistaken. OK, boys, let's go sink a hypester!!!"
After the SECWOP had completed its mission of justice and sent the "Silver Edition" to the bottom of Oakland harbor, they dropped Muffy and Norma off at Pier 39 in downtown San Francisco. Norma was looking forward to doing some serious shopping, when suddenly Muffy grabbed her arm.
"Wait! I have an idea! An idea that will make us rich! An idea that…oh, it was right there, it came to me while I was in the water, what the hell was it? It was really, really great, could make us an absolute fortune!"
Norma prized Muffy's fingers from around her arm, and looked around. She knew exactly what to do.
"Let's get you some caffeine, and find us an investment banker. Come with me."
She headed across the street to one of those stores with the familiar green and white logo that were spreading like kudzu across the land. Muffy looked up at the sign, which read: Hambrecht and QuistBucks, JavaBankers.
Muffy and Norma entered the store, and walked up to the counter, where they were greeted by a sullen teen with a greasy apron and hair to match.
"What'll it be, girls? Coffee, IPO or both? C'mon, I don't got all day."
"Double Ethiopian Sadamo Decaf non-fat Latte Grande, with just a touch of nutmeg and two fingers of Wild Turkey for me, and a Sulawesi Extra Super Mega Grande for my bedraggled friend here. Oh, and we want to talk with someone about a business idea."
"Eeee!" said Muffy.
"Say what?" said Norma.
"Eeee! My great idea. It began with an 'e', e-something."
"E-bonics?" said the teen.
Norma gave him a look that suggested he was not being entirely helpful, but he pressed on.
"E-coli? E-bola?"
"I got it!" squealed Muffy. "e-BayWatch! Yesssss!"
"Hoo-wee, that's a winner alright!" said the clerk, and pressed a red button on the counter. Instantly a klaxon sounded, and a tall, handsome young man in a suit burst out of door in the back of the store, carrying a cell phone and a leather briefcase. He strode up to Muffy and began a rapid-fire discourse:
"Hi, Studly D. Chippendale III, senior partner, at your service, great idea you got there, kid, e-BayWatch, I love it to death, this is going to be huge, the internet, plus the beach, the sunshine, gorgeous blondes with huge…anyway, we'll need a majority on the board, of course, and 55% of the equity, plus options, and our upfront non-refundable fee, but we should be able to get you out with at least, oh, twenty million within six months, Raoul, call Hasselhoff's people right now, I want to get this moving before anyone else catches on, I think an IPO for 3 million shares at thirty-five should be doable, maybe even forty, here, sign this, honey, we're going to take you to Hollywood!" |
