I think this was Ernie Pyle: He was asked about what he had learned about death, seeing so much of it. He had spent an evening with a special group of aircrews, who, knowing the mission they had been assigned and trained for, knew that for each of them this would likely be their last day on earth. Not one was given more than a chance of returning.
He discovered exactly what you said ~ none of them wanted to "be left out". Of events, time, tomorrow. To disappear. They could face the pain and terror and sacrifice, but they wanted to "be here" the next evening.
I'm beginning (or finished) forgetting my teentsy of Sanskrit, but associated with this concept are what Indian folklore sums up as the universal human desires. Sat, chit, and ananda. Truth, awareness (being), happiness (bliss). Truth is variously or complexly defined, yet the others are simple.
People will sacrifice or do without truth and happiness, or enjoy it if it happens, but it's hard to do either if there is no awareness. I think it is the primary fear, perhaps. And why people will pound drums to drown out the screams of burning friends or children or enemies.
Yet it's interesting that so many religions advise one not to fear death, and not to compromise principals to avoid it. The "body-mind" does not believe that. It wants to live. If you get close to death, involuntarily or unexpectedly, you can experience how powerful it is. It will override your conscious mind immediately; then you must struggle to conquer this previously unseen visitor. But to let it rule, survival above thinking mind, when there is time and place to think; and just let it submit others to the fate it desires to avoid, is a bit kooky.
It would be neat, if when we chose to stop playing that game, chose not to value our existence above else, that it would be "game-over" and the lights would come up on a new existence. Nice fantasy, but heck, it's a start I guess.
Then there's also the fantasy, of what the world would look like, if people practiced the idea. Irrelevant of course, but interesting. Not germane, because the concern of the external is not the same field of concern. Although one would like to be fit and warm. (Duh.) And irrelevant because it's just a big complicated mind-mess of indulgent interesting fantasy. (hee hee)
As one is slipping into death, it, by my experience anyway, does appear that one's consciousness will terminate. Or at least transform. Death is so certain to the body-mind that it believes it is a fatal mistake. Maybe a trick is that if we knew death wasn't real, then it would be easy to be less scared, more easy to sacrifice, and the rules of the game would be simpler and less harsh. Imagine that combat death or old age death was commonly a fifteen minute experience. Another interesting rule change of the game. But as death stands now, one must really believe in the conscious ethical choices that lead to their death, or death by default, or go grab a baby and chuck it in with the presto logs and turn up the stereo.
But that's kind of a chicken-shit existence if you have enough time to think of it. But lots of people die in their cars and don't even have time to change the tape to their favorite.
Maybe pacifism, as taught by Gandhi in and around civil disobedience, appealed to me as a kid, because it stepped outside traditional fear-rules. I don't know if I saw comparisons in Christianity. I think I did. But anyway, it was very interesting to see or imagine different concerns, different rules, as primary to the individual. I was well read in combat and heroism by the time, and all for it, but still this idea appealed to me, as mechanically different. As a worm gear whose concepts drove life to different experiences. Perhaps more interesting, maybe more tolerable, and certainly as valiant.
And maybe the romance (or reality) of the idea of just trying to get yourself to the high ground, and stay there, and enjoy it, come what may. (Ouch.)
But these people-killers, whoo whee , these are not nice people. Why would anyone want to stay with them? Why be so desperate?
By extension, why drop an incendiary bomb into the night on a city? Yes, they're different, and the enemy are the Nazis, who will surely hurt you given the chance. But suppose it were unaccpetable to you. Who, what, would you be. And forget about "where" for the moment. And PS you're going to die anyway. Just, just that question of when and how. So put down Biffy, let the fire burn out, and we'll sit on the porch hungry, and watch the Panzer Corps cross the field.
Or, just get in the SUV and go to Wendy's for salad bar. |
