Sorry to hear of the cancer scare. What is may be is, however, it must be dealt with. The way we handle the situation will be difficult to decide but it is our own decision to make. There is where individual views of life-death enter in. As our views change by our experiences age does make for better understanding.
The way I handle my situations would be impossible for someone else to follow. Most fear death where I look at it as just as natural as birth and growth. I cannot say I am anxious for the experience but at times in excruciating pain I have begged God to take me and stop the suffering. Although I cannot prevent bad situations, I know the way I handle it can make all the difference in results.
I didn't have much choice in my situation. I was notified by the doctors phone call that my latest test showed an aortic aneurysm and I should rush to the hospital and even then might not make it in time.
When I got to hospital I was rushed thru a series of tests and operated on about 12 hours later. I never woke up for 2 1/2 months. They punctured the colon in removing the aorta and replacing it. This in turn caused 6 more operations, a colonoscopy, removal of one leg from gangene and the removing half the other one, a tracheotomy due to lung failure, and several things for the stomach and kidney failure and drainage tubes, a hole in my chest for a feeding tube. I was in a coma and knew about none of this.
The doctors pulled the life supports and told my wife I would be gone in 3 days or less so she should make funeral arrangements which was done. Instead of dying I came out of the coma the next day so they started the life supports back and I recovered pretty fast where I could go home. There was so much to deal with in therapy it kept me busy. All the muscle in my body was weak but I was determined to get out of that bed and walk on prosthesis. I bought one for the half leg and after a year of arm exercise was able to take a few steps on a walker. Then next news was while catherizing the heart during the long operations they had damaged the heart and the strain of walking would cause heart failure. So then confined to wheel chair. There were snags such as these and all kinds of problems you cannot imagine, so believe have faced as much trauma as most will ever have to face and overcome.
Margaret and I decided if I was going to get better we would have to do it and not depend on doctors. I have refused several operations since that time and proved the doctors judgments wrong. The methods were used were not the usual. We laughed and joked about the situation instead of crying. For example while she was doing the nasty task of changing the ostomy appliance and cleaning I would ask her if she had ever seen a prettier a--hole. She would reply, "You keep talking to me like that I will hide your wheelchair.
Margaret was running herself down caring for me which made me determined to get better to take the load off her.
We started thinking of shedding the sick look so got rid of the hospital bed, the hospital type gowns she made me, the hoya lift she used to get me up and down, and quit eating in bed and went to the table.
I didn't tell you all this for pity but to let you know God gives us each one inspirations to handle the situations. Most think all this is the cause of my philosophy change but I assure you that it was the result of prior experience of God that has carried me thru.
Margaret had a colon cancer removed last year and it was removed and recovery was very fast. Humor doesn't always work with everyone. My doctor was offended when I asked him if he wasn't going to kiss it and make it well. gggg If others are offended so be it. That is just me.
The only answers for emotions is control and you are the engineer. The fable of the little train still works for us "old folks."
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