Jeff,
a shopping cart full of Pop Tarts
If you look at the photo real close, you'll see that the Pop Tarts in question are FBNA Pop Tarts/2000. We're working up an ad campaign at this very moment. How does this sound...
Hermetically sealed, scientifically formulated, each FBNA Pop Tart/2000 provides 100% of the RDA for vitamins and nutrients. In short, a complete 3-square meals yet tastie. The sleek individually packaged tarts reduce unwarranted bulging, a telltale sign of hoarding. Try walking through a post 2000 food riot with a twenty-two pound turkey hidden in your pants or a loaf of bread under your beret.
As if that's not good enough, each tart is wrapped with a genetically engineered space age foil which heats up when activated using FBN EZSounder™, providing perfectly toasted tarts. No more worries about electric power grids or Y2K compliant toasters.
Post 2000, it could be dog eat dog, total chaos, survival of the fittest. If you're not into health food, avoid exercise like the plague, and still wish to cheat Darwin, buy FBNA Pop Tarts/2000, the perfect food from the perfect company. If you don't get it, you don't get it. Get it.
Tom
Note: FBN EZSounder™ sold separately, batteries not included. |
