Sorry Apex, no lead in ink anymore. I recommend parsley. Ingesting parsley produces oxalic acid, which negatively affects kidney performance. Normally, we eat such small amounts that the kidneys have little trouble disposing of it. If you eat enough, Billy, your kidneys will be overwhelmed by the buildup of oxalic acid crystals and will cease functioning, so you will die in a few days of renal poisoning.
The suggested dose required to achieve this effect without fail is 30 lbs. of parsley a day for 30 days. However, since you only have six days left, you probably should increase your intake to 150 lbs. per day, or perhaps even 200 lbs., since renal poisoning takes a while to work.
An advantage to parsley is that it eliminates the spraying blood and rotting body that will create a nuisance and danger to other people, who will also have to clean up the mess you make. With inoperative kidneys, you won't even be able to pee, which eliminates yet another cleanup concern. I'm sure you will be more than willing to tolerate that condition for a few days in order not to be a burden to your heirs, assigns, and successors.
--Norm |
