>I wonder if courageous, honorable, dignified behavior at the end of life is
something that is learned, or comes from the depth of character? <
Some of each i'm sure. I don't think any of us except the suicidal or the really ill come to terms with the big Lights Out. Facing death requires courage - something some people have more of than others. As for how one "should act", I worry that the steady shift of mores which has attended the rapidly-aging Me Generation will lead to some real excesses of behavior by folks in that part of the hospital. y'know, tantrums, general carrying-on, suing doctors etc. Why? "Because I'm worth it! This is MY death we're talking about here!" Solipsism. We've raised egomania to an art form, and it will come to a head when some of our bigger egos are faced with their own impending demise - and are just a little bit rude about it. I don't see a lot of perspective being taught in the USA concerning mortality. It is the Enemy pure and plain.
There's good in that, and evil. Good in that we have some real nice medicines, safer cars, and food disclosure laws. Evil in that choosing a peaceful death vs. a drawn-out agony on $millions of life support is a crime. Evil that obsession with safety becomes a special brand of puritanism - a repudiation of the fun and humor that goes hand in hand with the precariousness of our existence.
The way I understood the radio quote is that outward dignity is not an option during a terminal illness. You wear these ugly paper aprons instead of clothes. You have tubes hanging in&out of your body. You have no bowel control - and it might be hours before you get cleaned up. If you always flossed and wore ironed shirts - the degradation is complete.
The challenge comes in maintaining dignity of spirit even as the body smells like poorly refrigerated leftovers. It's a tough call, but it can be done. Obviously there is little benefit to the dying person - it's a pretty thankless task for all the effort. But I can't help but think that the comfort and inspiration to family, wardmates and the staff is a priceless dividend.
Gosh, I hope I won't be all selfish if I'm terminal. I will end, but the world goes on. And I do not hate the world enough to be completely apathetic what sort of mark I leave. |
