Alex,
As you know, my mother's death from cancer affected me very deeply. Both my parents faced their deaths with great courage. I think you are absolutely right about that requirement, but I would add that the characteristic of self-discipline, something about which our generation seems to know little, is also necessary.
Each of us is the center of our own universe; how could we not be? My mother's ego was probably just as strong as any, but she would never have allowed herself to indulge in what she viewed as self-indulgent behavior. This ability wasn't something she was born with; she spent her whole life practicing this discipline. We can't spend a lifetime catering to our every personal desire (a la Clinton)and suddenly develop this ability to accept the unpleasant with aplomb. It's a decision on how to lead your life. It applies to every area, every age, every stage.
We were with some old friends the other night. We've known them for over twenty years-went through law school together, had our babies together, vacationed together. Now we have three graduating from high school. We were commenting on how they were very much the persons they started out being from Day 1, and that many of the traits that gave us headaches as parents have become their strengths, although they could have gone either way. We can't help what we are born, but most of us have definite choices about WHO we are and what we become. I truly believe that to die a courageous, honorable, dignified death, we must have first lived the same kind of life. |
