...some deep thoughts:
"The Top 20 Advantages and Disadvantages of Getting Older"
1. You can save money on bra's by just tucking you boobs in your pants.
2. In some Third World countries you are now considered a "tribal elder".
3. Your birthday cake appears as a lovely sunset from 50 miles away.
4. You can now begin stories with, "Back in my day....."
5. You can now claim that you "ARE old enough to know better".
6. "Party crashing" has taken on a whole new meaning. (your're asleep
before the party even kicks off.)
7. Those lame,old T-shirt expressions (i.e. "Aged to Perfection, "Sexy Senior Citizen", and"Oldie but Goodie") don't seem as lame anymore.
8. You can claim wrinkles as "tracks of wisdom".
9. You actually look like your driver's license photo/s.
10. When you "reach for the stars" now it is to get your boobs off your stomach.
11. Your most faithful and loyal friends are B.G., P.H., & H.P., (Ben Gay, Preparation H, and your 'ol buddy, Heating Pad)
12. You now know what it feels like to walk into a room and forget why you went in there.
13. You find yourself sitting on the edge of your bed and you can't remember whether you were just going to bed or waking up.
14. You are worried about laughing too hard right now for fear that you will pee your pants and you forgot to wear your Depends today.
15. The words "rest" and "home" in one sentence no longer sound as comforting to you anymore.
16. Your grandchild turns to you one day and says "You need to iron your skin, Grandma/Grandpa, cause yours has wrinkles in it."
17. Your birthday candles stand for decades instead of years.
18. You find yourself discussing your bowel movements with total strangers.
19. "Your're only young once," no longer applies to ordering that big slice of double-chocolate fudge cake.
20. "Life in the fast lane", to you is now going through the express checkout lane with 8 items/less.
...one more thing... I see you have lost your mind...can you
remember where you left it??? |
