FASC (First American Scientific Corp) Message Board

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Gold/Mining/Energy : FASC (First American Scientific Corp)

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To: jmt who wrote (588)	11/17/1998 1:58:00 AM
From: Lazarus	of 972

We met at the Betty Ford clinic.... ...He overheard me boasting about owning shares of an ostrich farm. He came over to my table and we drank some club soda and lime juice cocktails [alchoholics equivelant of methadone] and discussed our mutual interest in the equities markets and exotic birds. Until then I had never heard of the FOO bird...he is the one who told me about them. The Foo [the oo sounds like the ew in new] species are notorious mankillers. Among the island native's there is a saying: "you hunt the foo; the foo hunts you!" And the foo always ends up the winner. All birds in the Foo species have deadly feces. IT's true. they kill men with their tirds. If you are hit with a tird from one of these birds -- you will die. Instantly. IF you wipe it off, that is. The natives never die. They don't wipe it off. Of course some pple refuse to believe the natives warnings. Awhile back an American visiting Bora Bora laughed in the faces of the natives when they told him what I just told you. He picked up his rifle and straightaway headed out to find him a Foo bird. He was a wealthy man - a commodities trader who had managed to make a small fortune [which was easy - since he started with a large one.] Anyway, the guy came upon a large flock of Foo birds feeding in the shallow waters at the beach, took aim, and fired. He winged one but didn't kill it. A few feathers went flying. Then all of those birds took off and began to fly the "cirle of death." Once they got their preditor in sight they tucked their wings in a dove after him with a vengence. When he saw how mad those birds were and heard their ominous screams he started running like hell. Just before he reached the entrance of a small cave in a nearby cliff he turned his head to see where the birds were -- AND one of those Foo birds planted a tird on him -- right between the eyes. Once inside the cave, he did what every idiot before him has done. He wiped it off. Died Instantly BArginstocker moral: if the Foo sh*ts, wear it.

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