News: Sky over Britain black with turkeys in flight, streaming in from the Atlantic. There everywhere. The Queen had to shoo them off her Buckingham Palace balcony with a broom. Flocks of them have taken over Runway 1 at Heathrow Airport. The noise is deafening, drowning out the noise of Concorde. The Ministry of Agriculture has put out a statement: "We have defeated mad cow disease, British farms should not now have to accommodate these loud American turkeys". The Foreign Office said that it is in urgent talks with other European countries about a common turkey policy. "The issue is whether these are economic or political refugees. Some of these turkeys have a genuine belief that their lives would have been in danger today they had remained in the US. But others are simply trying to improve their standard of living. Many of them claim to have ancestors or children living here." The French have already refused to participate. "French turkeys have a distinctively superior accent and do not gobble like US turkeys", a spokesman for the Ministry of Culture said, "to allow them to land here would be to debase our Gallic gobbelese, which traces its origins to the wild Corsican turkeys brought to Paris by Napolean" There were ugly incidents in Hyde Park late yesterday evening when immigrant Canadian geese and American turkeys met up on the banks of the Serpentine. The US ambassador and the Canadian High Commissioner put out a joint statement to calm the situation. "Geese and Turkeys, alike, should remember that we are guests in this country. Even though we won the last war for Britain does't mean that we can now treat it like a floating bird coop. We appeal to Canadian geese everywhere to remember they are not Americans and to the American turkeys to remember that they are not eagles."
After only 24 hours in Britain many of the turkeys are already preparing for the flight back to American. "Too rainy here, not enough space and the plumbing's neanderthal", said a Turkey from Plymouth Rock.
Happy Thanksgiving Yanks!
Victor |
