For your enjoyment:
OK, everyone. I have now become a "Perma-Bull" (c).
I have placed all my money into an expertly managed mutual fund. I happily pay my dutiful 12b1, front end, back end, and money manager's country club fees -- and I smile. My eyes well up with tears when I see Peter Lynch on TV. He is sooo smart. I send my mutual fund manager Christmas and Birthday cards. I have my bi-weekly contribution automatically deducted from my paycheck. I take advantage of dollar cost averaging. I compare NAV's with my friends -- and we smile.
I no longer need to pay attention to fundamentals, market shift, "head-fakes", momentum, or industry trends. I have cancelled my Wall Street Journal subscription and avoid CNBC. I wear "reeel-dark" (c) sunglasses when I surf to avoid any interaction with information related to, or concerned with, equities. You'll find me on the Dilbert and South Park web sites. If you find time between your P/E ratios and P/F charts to visit, don't forget to say HI.
I expect to retire early. I can do it with the 15%+ compounded gains from my sound investments. I will pay for my children's college education with the proceeds from my recent EBAY and AMZN purchases. The Internet is soooo hot, I'm getting in at the ground floor. I have 15 years before I retire; any small downturn is a blip on the screen.
My cash reserves are zero. I can withdraw from my mutual fund if necessary. I buy almost everything with credit cards and don't pay off the balance every month. It's OK, interest rates are low; everyone does it.
Maybe I'll take up golf. It's what all the affluent do... Anyone want to join me?
Sayonara, suckers. |
