MM and Austrian Twins: Got this joke in email...be sure to read the part in bold
>> > Holiday laughs....
>> > > > -----------------
>I think Santa Claus is a woman....
> I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she.
>Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy,nurturing
>social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly
>pull it all off!
> For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting
>gifts until Christmas Eve. Once at the mall, they always seem surprised
>to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left
>on the shelves. On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman.
> Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up
>Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in
>the bag.
> Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all,
>there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and
>strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed,
>desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack
>would already be on the way to the taxidermist. Even if the male Santa DID
>have
>reindeer, he'd still have transportation problems because he would inevitably
>get
>lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for
>directions.
> Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man:
> - Men can't pack a bag.
> - Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.
> - Men would feel their masculinity is threatened...having to be seen with all
> those elves.
> - Men don't answer their mail.
> - Men would refuse to allow their physique to be describe even in jest
> as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly."
> - Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them.
> - Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their
> ability to pick up women.
> - Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.
> I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men.....Father
>Time
>shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous. Cupid flies around
>carrying
>weapons. Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers. Any one of
>these
>individuals could pass the testosterone screening test.
>
>But not Santa. Not a chance |
