Pinky's Tailing Box: St. Nicholas Day Edition...
Fox IMF Sundays presents:
The Green Bay Packers Vs. The Wall St. Giants.
Pat Summerall: The Packers, wearing the gold uniforms, have won
the coin toss and have elected to receive.
Mad N: Nowadays they flip an official IMF coin to start the games.
It used to be they'd use a Susan B. Anthony dollar, but they had
to stop because the guys on the field thought they were only
playing one quarter.
Sumerall: The opening boot is high and end over end. Peter Munk, number 49,
fields the POGskin at the gold line and follows his
hedge of blockers forward selling out to the 30.0 yard line.
The crowd is on its feet already.
Mad N: Packer fans have always been irrationally exhuberant.
But given past experience, they shouldn't have expected too
much gain this year after losing the Super Gold in January.
Summerall: Yes, 13 of the last 14 times the National Conference
has lost the Super Gold, the market has lost as well...
...Sumerall: Quarterback Warren Buffett is on the field with his
first POSsesion. Reaching back in his pocket, Buffett
throws long...incomplete. Second and ten. Here's the snap...back
to pass, under pressure...caught behind the line of scrimmage for
a loss of $1.50.
Mad N: Boom! On his back. Boy he'll feel that one in the morning.
Summerall: Armstrong and Lynch in on the tackle...
$
...MadN: This is the third punt this quarter for the Packers.
The Green and Gold can't seem to break the 30.0 yard line.
Summerall: Coming in to punt is Adrian Day.
Mad N: Day's Punt average is respectable but he usually keeps a
foot in other hard currencies as well.
Sumerall: Giants come to the line of scrimmage. Brinker barks
the count. Stepping back in the pocket he throws...interflection!
Jeff Goldenbach steals the ball and the momentum shifts once again.
Mad N: Brinker's been throwing all his eggs in one basket
all afternoon. Reggie White Metal tipped the POGskin at the line
of scrimmage to set up the turnover. The POGskin is inside
the Giants' 40 yard line now.
$
Pat Summerall: Buffett pitches out--it's a half-back option play...
he slips and falls... What a loss!
Mad N: Now you know why they call it a half-back option--Gold'll
be lucky to get half back what they lost on that option play
before they have to punt.
Pat Summerall: The Giants punt from their own 40 yard line.
A booming kick sails all the way into the endzone.
Mad N: FLAG is down on the field...waiting for the call but it
looks like the Gold is in trouble once again
Pat Summerall: Apparently it's defensive holding on the Packers.
Mad N: By senselessly holding Gold defensively, investors lost
the ball here once again.
$
Pat Summerall: The Packers snap the ball--it's a hand-off into
the line for at most a yard.
Mad N: They're so conservative they're afraid of doing anything
so they end up doing nothing. I've seen more yards gained on
a rooftop by the runners on Santa's sleigh.
Pat Summerall: Ball is snapped...they're blitzing...the defense
is all over the quarterback who stumbles as he backs into the pocket.
Mad N: He scrambled like a grandma...and got run over by a
reindeer like one too.
Summerall: Reindeer?
Mad N: Yeah--Blitzen.
$$$
On the twelfth day of scandal, Bill Clinton gave to me, twelve spinsters spinning,
eleven zippers zipping, ten ladies panting, nine monks a veeping, eight aides a bilking, seven cons a brimming, sex sleaze displaying, THE FIFTH AMENDMENT! Four stalling words, three wench 10's, two firm denials, and a subpoena for Charlie Trie.
Oh capital flight, gold bars are brightly shining, as all Dow stocks slide into a rat hole.
Longs, so we're told, are best to be unwinding, before the time portfolios melt in worth.
The Dow gets ploughed, the weary bear rejoices for yonder breaks a gold and silver bull.
Fall S&P's, oh hear the PM1s ringing despite late declines and forward hedging by all the mines.
Oh might James Dines show he was right as the metals leave the earth.
Here comes market crash, here comes market crash--longs are in for some pain.
Vexed, blitzed, and blasted the market strains here,
Giving up its gains.
Sells are springing, longs are wringing,
Capital is in flight.
Hang your stock broker today,
'Cause market crashes stocks at their height.
Here comes market crash here comes market crash--holding cash isn't lame.
Indexes lag and bears filled with joy
As troy ounces see gains.
Hear those stray sells linger longer,
Oh what a ludicrous sight.
So dump instead--you1re covered with red
'Cause market crash bleeds you white!
Here comes market crash, hear comes market crash,
YK2 gets the blame
The bear doesn't care if you're rich or poor
It claws you just the same
Bear claws knows we're all bewildered
That makes for capital flight.
So fill your charts with downtrend lines
'Cause market crash plumbs low to the right.
Here comes market crash, here comes market crash,
Valuations insane.
Gold'll come around when the chimes ring out
It's a PM bull again.
Stock price worth will come to all
It we survive thru the plight
So let's run banks till recovery booms
That market crash is out of site.
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