Hello Everyone,
New to this side of the world, usually spend most of my time losing my mind (and money usually) on other end of SI.
But lately I have felt somewhat stressed with it so I decided to peruse what else SI had to offer. Finally landed on this interesting site.
It just so happens I have a very interesting date story. Unfortunately it fits the category of where lucifer eminates from. But it sure is funny. At least now it is. But who knows maybe it loses its humour when placed in print.
I hope I don't bore you all. It was not really a date that evening, but what a night it was!
It all happened many years ago, at least it certainly seems that way now. Here goes.
I had dated this young lady several times and this one evening I was out with a male friend at a local bar. The dates we had up until this point had been uneventful, apart from some very amorous moments. Suffice to say that we were attracted to each other sexually. Although I must confess that I believe she was slightly more involved with the relationship than I was. But it was early enough in the relationship that neither knew much of the finer aspects of each others personality, habits, etcetera.
So it brings me to the night at the bar. We had been standing upstairs (the bar was a multi-level bar with a dance floor downstairs) watching people dance. Suddenly this woman that I had been dating appeared with several of her friends. It was evident very quickly that she was in desparate need of another brain, for hers had been taken over by alcohol. It also quickly became apparent that she was not to fond of my apparent indiffernce to her being there. I guess I had not paid enough attention to her, and so within the first hour I had been called a jerk, punched several times in the arm, pinched and then a few more choice words that would need the customary astericks to describe.
During this time her friends (and I use that term loosely) would periodically come around to see how she was doing and tell me in no uncertain terms to make sure I look after her. And of course she became more and more drunk. You know, the slurring the words stage. I kept thinking,..oh poor girl just had alittle too much to drink. But I certainly was not very happy as it increasingly looked as if I was becoming the babysitter while her 'friends' unceremoniously dumped her in my lap.
Sure enough one of her friends comes to tell me that I better take care of her 'cause were leaving'. So the twosome quickly became a threesome. At this point she could scarcely stand. I was quite impressed with 'my girl'. But this was nothing compared to what awaited me.
The three of us stumble down the stairs, my friend and I attempting to hold onto to our charge. It certainly did not look very presentable (and probably suspcious) as we hustled her out barely conscious. By this time she was in that land of drunkdom, you know,....I don't care, I don't know, what day is it?. So here we are driving. First stop I drop off my friend and apolgize for the drool on his clothes. Then there were two.
"So where do you live?", I asked. And of course she could not remember, or simply did not have the cognitive ability to tell me anymore. We drove around somewhat as I tried to get a baring from the directions that were translated from jibberish, but to no avail. Half an hour latter and we were on the way to my place. I have to give her credit though, never once did she vomit in the car.
I half carried her up the stairs. Barely a word was spoken. I was in a mild state of shock, still trying to determine how exactly I ended up with this severely drunk woman in my apartment. And to make matters worse I was in the process of moving so all the furniture that was left in the apartment was the bed, a double thank god. A water bed to be precise. I stumbled her into the bedroom and she half slide, half flopped onto the bed. I stood above her wondering whether or not I was suppose to remove her clothes. I had seen this scene many times on T.V. but couldn't remember what I was suppose to do. So I left her fully clothed.
No sooner had I deposited her on the bed, she quickly started snooring. At this point I am slowly pasing in the room trying to decide if I should attempt to sleep on the bed beside her. Two hours go by and finally succumbing from my sleep deprivation I get in bed beside her. Now she was taking up a majority of the bed, so I was squashed right beside the side rail, I don't think I could had gotten any closer to it. After approx. half an hour of restless contemplation I noticed her rousing slightly and mumbling. Nothing coherent and I didn't really pay much attention to it,....at first.
She started moving alittle more forcefully, I could tell by the movement in the water bed. But it was dark and could not really make out what she was doing. I tried to focus my eyes in her direction, but all I could tell at this point was that due to the depression in the middle of the bed, it seemed that she was attempting to get up and had moved over to her side of the bed. After much effort she succeeded in getting over the edge of the rail and appeared to be half standing and half resting on the side rail. Then I started to hear what sounded like clothes being adjusted. Now I started to pay attention. I thought to myslelf, "what the hell is she doing?" Sleepwalking?
She seemed to bend over, again I heard what sounded like clothes being adjusted. And then as she righted herself I heard what I had a very hard time coming to terms with. Could it be?, I thought,....running water. She seemed to lower herself onto the side rail. I remained in a state of confusion. I continued to here something that began to stir a chill in me, could it be? Nahh, I convinced myself. Gingerly I reached out my arm and hand following the top of the covers, and as I slowly made my way towards her--my fingers touched it, the horror, the wetness. I brought the fingers to my nose, (retrospectively that was a bad move, and hardly necessary) and yelled out, "OH MY GOD YOU PISSED IN THE BED". To which I received absolutely no response.
After she had finished, which seemed like an awfully long time (emphasis on awful), she very matter of factly pulled up her panties adjusted herself and got back into bed. Right in to that very large pool of urine which by this time had by that wonderful process of osmosis taken up almost the entire upper area of her head and body. This I discovered in the morning.
I had jumped out of bed by this time cursing out loud at my misfortune. Needless to say I did not venture back into the bed. She slept soundly all night.
Well I think I have bored you all enough with this story. The morning was fairly interesting but much less eventful.
Hope you enjoyed it.
Regards |
