I think that BAAT would be a perfect subject for the TV show "60 minutes". You know the kind where they find some clever but sneaky operator and send Mike Wallace to interview the company president. The show might start like this: (Remember that this is a joke)
Mike Wallace: Mr. LaStella, your company has claimed that the "pulse charge" engine produces a tremendous increase in fuel efficiency. Do you have any hard evidence to support that claim?
Joe LaStella: Of course we do. Didn't you hear about how our supercar beat the pants off the competition in a controlled test? We have no doubt that this supercar is the car of the future.
Mike Wallace: We heard about that. But I understand that the two cars had completely different engines, and that therefore the difference in fuel efficiency can be attributed to many other things, not necessarily your "pulse charge" technology.
Joe LaStella: Look Mike, those people who doubt our technology don't have to invest in BAAT. As I have said before, we will never run a test where the only difference in the two cars is pulse charge. We are promoting the whole package including the diesel engine, over inflated tires, low speed, the whole ball of wax. Investors must trust us. After all, we have been in this business several years.
Mike Wallace: Speaking of the last several years, have you ever sold any products on the open market?
Joe LaStella : How you talk. Have we ever sold any products! Ah, well, some products have sold, yes. We have sold lots of BAAT Lube. It is good for fuel savings, corns, callouses, warts, arthritis, saving engines and I hear that some people even use it instead of Viagra.
Mike Wallace: Speaking of Viagra, is it true that you have a division that is doing some testing along those lines?
Joe LaStella: No Mike, I think you have that wrong. My friend and the former BAAT controller wanted to do a bit of research along those lines, but the local police put some obstacles in her way. What a shame. I am sure we could have revolutionized that field just like we are doing in transportation and power generation. But I am saving that idea for a press release next year. I usually recycle press releases you know. When ideas no
longer excite the public imagination, I put them away for another year. That is why my company has so many divisions. You have to keep the investing public interested in a new idea every 3 months or so. Using the same old stale ideas month after month just won't work. Trot a new one out every 3 months is my motto. Have you seen our archive of old press releases? I am going to copyright all the press releases and then franchise them for anyone
wanting to start a new company. That way one does not have to have a creative mind to issue stock and get the public to buy it. They can just recycle my press releases and bingo, they have a viable company worth millions of dollars.
Mike Wallace: But they do have to produce something for the market don't they?
Joe LaStella: Are you kidding? I have not sold anything in 6 years but a little Bat Lube.
Selling things is totally irrelevant. The thing to sell is stock certificates. The biggest cost is marketing for stock certificates. The certs themselves are just paper. Mike, you have a thing or two to learn about the penny stock business. Tell you what Mike. How about joining me and I will show you the ropes. With your name, we could sell more stock certificates than anyone in previous history. Whatta you say?
Mike Wallace: Well thanks Joe, but that is not exactly what I had in mind. I am just here to do a story and I think I have it now.
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