Searching for the perfect gift for his dear wife who loved animals and
birds in particular, a man dropped in to the local pet shop to see if he
could come up with an idea. The pet store manager told the man, "I have
just the thing you're looking for, a bird named Chet". Impressed with
the look of the bird as the manager pointed out "Chet" on the near by
perch, the man was even more intrigued when the manager pointed out that
"Chet" could sing Christmas Carols.
Approaching the bird "Chet", the manager took out his lighter and said
"Yes, just listen." As the manager lit his lighter and moved it gently
below Chets right foot the bird immediately broke into "Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle all ...." but then, when the manager moved the
lighter below Chet's left foot, the bird switched to "I'm Dreaming of a
White Christmas, just like the one's...". Astonishment was the only way
to describe the husband's reaction and he said, "I'll buy him, what a
perfect gift for my dear wife."
Racing home with Chet, the man knew he couldn't keep this wonderful gift
from his wife until Christmas day. He presented Chet to her immediately
and remarked, "Not only is he a pretty bird, but he sings too, Dearest."
His wife was totally overwhelmed as her husband demonstrated Chet's skill
at singing Jingle Bells and White Christmas moving his lighter back and
forth between Chet's right and left foot. "What happens if you put the
lighter under both his feet at the same time?" asked the man's wife. "I
don't know sweet, lets try it and see."
As the man move his lighter under both of the birds feet they were both
surprised when the carol immediately switched to "Chet's nuts roasting
on an open fire...."
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The makers of Preparation H, a well know treatment for hemorrhoids, today recalled all of their products from store shelves nationwide. Reports of tampering have surfaced and, upon investigation, official shave found evidence that someone has inserted a form of deadly poison into the products which, if used, will kill instantly.
Reports are just now beginning to trickle in however, it appears that thus far the tampered with Preparation H may be responsible for the deaths of at least a dozen...assholes.
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