cOUSIN SHORTY replies:
GOTya coVERED, DOOd,. I NO CLAws, JUSt got off the FAX:
Gauguin
Puter
Cyberspace
Today
My Dear Gauguin;
It is such a pleasure to hear from you again! I guess you liked the bike, huh? Now, here is the deal on Little Billy: lots of people are asking for him to be forgiven. Lots.
I know how you feel. I feel the same way. Billy has not been a Good Boy. Monica either. Hillary either. And that ratso attorney they have, David, he is just awful. Chelsea gets a car. A red one. Billy gets a Small Lump of Coal. Monica gets a Godzilla Pez (think about it). Hillary gets one of those toys that has a paddle with a rubber ball and a rubber band, but I'm taking off the rubber band. David gets nothing.
Unfortunately, I can't grant your wish about Billy Going Away.
Here is what I can do: You watch the stock market. Next year, it's going to "tank". When it does, you buy some stock. Buy a whole bunch of stock. Wait until Everything is Very Grim.
And then you can buy a new puter, and you can get Young Helen something nice, and Wonderful Wife something nice.
Now don't you worry about Billy. He'll be gone soon. You just play with Helen.
Thanks again for the note, write to me any time.
Santa
P.S. Mrs. Claus says that girl of yours is really cute. |
