Pinky's Tailing Box Christmas Eve Edition...
Yuletide at POGton Place...
Are you almost ready Jeeves? Our audience awaits.
Sorry Sir. Just placing a bit of coal by the fireplace for stage effect.
By the way, Jeeves, a Dickens' Christmas Carol presentaion at POGton Place for our SI friends was a smashing idea!
Thank you Sir. Ah there, the curtain rises...
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Good Sir, our president is in danger of losing his job to a scandalous Senate trial. Could you spare a modest sum to help accommodate his legal expenses?
Are there no workhouses? Are there no prisons?
But he'd rather lie, er...die than lose his job.
Then let him die, er...lie and use government vouchers to pay for it and thereby decrease the current budget surplus.
$
Hello Bob. Where's my uncle?
Ah Fred. I'm afraid Mr. Screwed is out.
Well Bob, put some coal on the fire. I'm here to warm uncle Screwed up way or another.
RING-A-LING
Cratchit! Why is it so warm in here?
I'm sorry Sir; I added more coke to the fire.
I'm sorry I didn't add more COKE to my portfolio.
Merry Christmas Uncle!
Bah! Goldbug!
$
Here's your paper Sir...
Agh! My Zappa Resources stock is selling at .08 a share.
Tax write-off selling Sir.
It's a poor excuse to pick a man's pocket every December 25th.
$
What's that rattling sound? I must be imagining things.
It's me Ubemiser--your partner in life Martin Armstrong.
Well, what do you want?
3.25 silver.
Bah! Goldbug! Why, you're probably nothing more than a bit of mustard, a slice of beef, or a crumb of cheese--there's more of gravy than of grave about you.
I'm 51% in PM's and 49% in the Dow.
My mistake. There's more of grave than of gravy about you. But you were always a good man of business.
I own 10,000 shares of Dayton Mining.
You were always a stupid speculator.
Make ready for the three spirits...POOF!
$
SNORE...huh? Who are you? The light, it's blinding my eyes.
That's because I'm shortcovered with gold. Come.
But I am mortal, spirit--I'll fall headlong and be killed.
Would you rather be long the XAU?
I'd be killed worse...coming!
$
Why, it's my old schoolhouse. And there--my old girlfriend!
You could have taken stock in her--why didn't you marry her?
I did take stock in her but I learned never to marry a stock.
$
SNORE...huh? Another spirit!
This is Cratchit's favorite child, Shiny PM.
Poor Shiny PM.
Let him rather die and decrease the COMEX surplus.
You use my words against me spirit.
No, those are Martin Armstrong's words--a washout spike down to take out the silver stockpiles.
Oh tell me spirit, will Shiny PM live?
If the present manipulations go unaltered, next Christmas I see a POG by the hearth without a support level to hang on.
$
SNORE...huh? Oh Spirit, I fear you most of all. Tell me, are these the shadows of things that will be, or may be? What? Maybe they will be? I shall change my way of living! I shall never buy on the VSE again! Oh give me another chance!
$
SNORE...huh? What? It's light out!
SCREETCH...
Boy! Yes you! What day is it today?
Why, it's Christmas Day Sir.
Do you own any shares of Royal Oak Mines?
No Sir.
A remarkable boy--an intelligent boy.
Sir?
Is that prize turkey still hanging in the corner shop window?
No Sir. It's Al Gore, er...all gone Sir. But the next shop down has one even bigger.
Really? What do they call that turkey?
Commander-In-Chief, Sir.
Well go buy the "Command-Her-In, Chief" and I'll give you ten shillings. Do it in 5 minutes and I'll give you half a crown.
$
Fred!
Who is this?
Your uncle Screwed.
Why, I didn't recognize you without your pockets stuffed with Zappa warrants. Welcome to Christmas Dinner!
$
Cr-e-e-a-a-k!
Mr. Cratchit!
Yes Sir!
You're late.
I'm sorry Sir. I did make merry yesterday, it being Christmas. It's only once a year. It won't happen again sir.
Well I won't stand for it! And therefore...therefore I'm going to give you all my Zappa!
Thankyou Sir! I've always wanted enough money extra to buy some aluminum cans.
$
A wonderful play Jeeves!
Thank you Sir. And, A Merry Christmas to you.
Merry Christmas Jeeves, and to all our SI friends. =) |
