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Pastimes : Ask Dr. SOROS -Psychoanalyst/psychic/psychobabblyst/psycho
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To: Don Pueblo who wrote (1)12/25/1998 1:39:00 PM
From: SOROS   of 25
 
Dear Mr. Chicken,

First, if your cousin like BBQ psychiatrists, then he probably would also go for some BBQ chicken. Therefore, the first thing I would do is buy a Monica Lewinsky disquise for the next time you see him. This should drive him wild with desire. When he drops his shorts, grab one of the Peenies, and rub it on his peenie. He will immediately bite off his peenie, which will set off a major chortle. The snort will suck the peenie into his throat, and you will see him gasp and chuckle his last chuckle -- no more worry for you, which is bad for your mental health, BTW.

I remain,

SOROS

ps Try some cortisone cream (2% at least) on those nasty bumps under your nipples. If that doesn't work, you may want to rub some Peenies on them, and visit your cousin one time before applying my advice above.

pps Almost forgot -- I see abusive, ugly parents in your past and very ugly women in your future.
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