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Pastimes : Jokes
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To: Karin who wrote (1068)12/27/1998 11:25:00 PM
From: Karin  Read Replies (2) of 2733
 
Subject: PREPARING FOR FIRST MAMMOGRAM

Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to
worry. By taking a few minutes each day for the week preceding the exam
and
doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared for
the best.

And, best of all, you can do these simple practice exercises right in your
own home.

EXERCISE # 1
Freeze two metal bookends overnight.
Strip to the waist.
Invite a stranger into the room.
Press the bookends against one of your breasts.
Smash the bookends together as hard as you can.
Set an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.

EXERCISE # 2
Open your refrigerator door and insert on breast between the door and the
main box.
Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut as hard as possible
and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five
seconds.
Repeat again in case the first time wasn't effective enough.

EXERCISE # 3
Visit your garage at 3:00 a.m. - when the temperature of the cement is just
perfect.
Take off all your warm clothes and lay comfortably on the floor with one
breast wedged under the rear tire of the car.
Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently
flattened and chilled.
Turn over and repeat for the other breast.

Karin
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