He was dressed all in black, a hooded robe covering him from head to foot. In his hand was a scythe.
"Are... are... are you coming for me???" Muffy stammered.
"No," said the man, "I come for all civilization."
"But... But... it's Christmas!" Muffy said meekly.
"Today is Christmas, but less than a scant week from today will be January 1, 2000, and the world shall be engulfed in a large fireball and explode with such violent force that pieces the size of acorns shall be strewn all over the universe," the man said in a low droning voice.
"No no no... it's only the end of 1998, not 1999! You're a year early!" shrieked Muffy. "Look look here at this newspaper," she said pointing at the paper sitting on the dining room table. Muffy ran over, picked up the paper, and was about to throw it at the man when she notice, lo and behold, it really was Christmas of 1999! All that traveling through time had actually thrust her forward a year.
"You've got six days Muffy," said the man, "six days to figure out how to avert Y2K Armageddon and save the world. I'll be back." And with that, he left.
Muffy turned to see if Zonkie and his mother had heard the whole conversation. But she was back in her own apartment. Alone. "Six days to save the world," she thought, "I can't keep a man for more than a few hours and now I've been charged to save all mankind. This is not one of my better days."
Muffy sat down at her computer and fired up her browser. A search on "Y2K" yielded names like DeJager, North, Keyes, and Ulrich. Muffy read a sampling from each, found nothing earth-saving and, exasperated and tired, began to weep. In a fit or rage she picked up the mouse, coiled her arm, and... and noticed there were two Ulrichs! It was then she discovered FBN Associates. It was then she discovered a product called FBN Prayer2000.
It was late, and she could barely keep her eyes open, but she just had to dial the 800 number.
"FBN Associates, may I help you?" said the voice at the other end of the phone."
"Yes, yes, yes you can help me," Muffy said, her heart almost pounding through her chest, "I want to talk to someone about FBN Prayer 2000." |
