I'd put my wife on a pedestal, but I don't have the money to rent a crane.
Mothers of teenagers know why animals eat their young.
One of these days, my kids are going to understand "Because I said so" is a perfectly good answer. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton. The Dodge Draft will begin production in Canada this year.
When Clinton was asked what he thought about foreign affairs, he replied, "I don't know. I never had one."
If you came across Bill Clinton drowning in a raging river and you had a choice between rescuing him or getting a Pulitzer prize-winning photograph, what shutter speed would you use?
Chelsea asked her dad, "Do all fairy tales begin with once upon a time...? " Bill Clinton replied, "No. Some begin with 'I want to make myself perfectly clear...'"
Clinton's mother prayed fervently that Bill would grow up and be president. So far, half of her prayer has been answered.
The American Indians have nicknamed Bill Clinton as "Walking Eagle" because he is so full of shit that he can't fly.
Isn't putting Bill Clinton in charge of a trust fund as insane as putting a draft-dodger as Commander in Chief?
Clinton only lacks three things to become one of America's finest leaders: Integrity, vision, and wisdom.
Asked about his views on euthanasia, Clinton replied, "They're just like kids in the United States or Europe."
Clinton is doing the work of 3 men: Moe, Larry and Curley. |