Man....
The other day, I thought I was coming down with a cold, see?
Well, I knew that if I could get enough fresh Garlic in me, even the cold virus wouldn't want to get near... know what I mean?
So, I wooped up the fresh batch of salsa. I mean it was good! I used 1/2 of an entire elephant garlic, 4 or 5 vine ripe tomatos, one entire large japalano, and half an onion. Then I spun the handle on my Deluxe Vegatable Chopper (you know, the kind you see on TV) and within 30 seconds - poof! FRESH SALSA!
Well, seeing is how I had the cold coming on, my sniffer wasn't working too good. And I had a new tube of those Fat Free Pringles... you know, the new ones - that use that synthetic oil - Olestra. I poured the whole chopper of Salsa into a big bowl, opened the can of chips, and sat down to the Kitchen Computer, to read a few posts on SI and do some trading.
I just kept eating, reading and trading... and eating and reading... well, you know what I mean... especially if you're reading this. All of the sudden, the salsa was all gone! And I was 100 posts behind on the MARKET GEMS thread.
So, back to the counter tops, with the other half of garlic, 4 more vine ripe tomatos, another full very large jalapeno and the other half of that onion. And, I found another tube of the Fat Free Pringles, Bar-B-Q flavored this time.
Finally I was back to the threads... eating, reading and trading. Until I finally finished all of the Salsa, 2nd tube of Fat Free Pringles, and about the 3td or 4th Diet Coke.
Now, I don't know how many of you know just what an Elephant Garlic is... but it's just what it says it is. It's an elephant sized garlic. One that could be used sparingly, and it would be enough for about, oh, say 25 to 30 servings of any garlic based dish. But without really thinking about it (cause I was making a killing in ASND and DGIV) I had consumed the entire thing....
As luck would have it, I didn't really think about it - until about 6 hours later when I had to go to the bathroom. Now, I want to ask you an honest question. How many of you have a laptop wired directly to the net, so you can read while you're in the bathroom? I've tried to explain to my wife that is not really that unusual.... is it? I'll bet Bill Gates just sits down and looks at a wall sized screen and uses verbal commands. (which would come across pretty strange at my house if someone was walking past the closed bathroom door and they heard me say "Control Shift 'F' Seven Backspace" or something like that. I mean, they'ed wonder what I was doing in there.)
So, it's nite time now, and I'm doing my business, chasing the Chicken's comments as he takes me on a tour of about 50 threads, when all of the sudden I realize that my sniffer is working again! Well, partially, at least. I'm not sure if what I am smelling - is what I am supposed to be smelling. You know what I mean? You know when something is kind of familiar, but something's just not quite right? I thought I was in an Italian Resturant. Yes... that's what it was... I was in an Italian Resturant, in the kitchen. The more I thought about it, the stronger it got. Exponentially stronger! Whew... I was way past Italian Resturant when my curiousity got the better part of me. I just had to look.
So, I put the laptop down out of the way, and I looked. (I think it's a guy thing.) Well, do you remember those pictures of the Exxon Valdez oil spill? That's what I was looking at. I mean, pools of oil floating on top of the water... Well, now I know why Frito Lay had to change their motto from "Bet You Can't Eat Just One" to "Bet You Can't Go Just Once." That Olestra passes right thru, touching nothing in its path. And have you ever tried to clean up after using an oil based paint? Man, I though I was going to need some turpentine.
Anyway, this at one time, had something to do about salsa. But I guess it's important to watch what you eat it with too. As for the garlic - I couldn't even get near me for about a day.
jc |
