Not entirely sure I should try to explain, which would be sticking my next out a bit. I've just noticed that a lot of people seem to talk a great deal about the qualities they seek in a partner, then go to the market and end up with a partner that is the opposite of what they said they wanted. I know I did, but I'm notorious for doing these things backwards.
The job thing is, I think, not just a matter of wanting the partner to earn her keep. For one thing, people who are actively engaged, whether in a profession, in child-rearing, or anything else, are just more interesting to be around. For another, a lot of us really want to maintain a feeling of equality. The whole paradigm of dependent/provider is a pretty difficult thing to sustain.
The whole thing of men dumping wives for younger, prettier, women is not really a question of enjoying them more, as younger and prettier women are not necessarily more enjoyable, in bed or in conversation. I think it has more to do with enjoying other people's reactions, the ego boost that comes with being seen with a woman that fits the mass perception of what a woman ought to be, physically at least. That said, having crossed 40 I do find my eyes unaccountably steering toward the young ones; probably more than they did when I was the age that they are now. Possibly because back then they were all too busy entertaining older fellows with the full wallets and savoir faire that come with making a place in the world to acknowledge my existence?
Fully expecting to be picked to pieces by Inquiring Minds which have thought these things through, as I have not....
Steve |
